Et Tu, Child?

A girl about the age of three approached me, pointed to an Asian boy across the way and said, "that's your kid." I said, "actually, that is not my kid. But that one is." And pointed to my daughter who was at a water fountain. The girl looked back and forth, stared blankly at me as if to say "what are you talking about?" then ran off.

My daughter doesn't look very Japanese, so I'll give her that. But I've actually run into this a lot teaching and being around white kids and they actually think all Asians are related. Especially if there is one Asian adult and a child--to them, it's a no brainier that we should be family.

My tactic has been to sit on my hands so that I don't punch them in the mouth. They don't know. Yet.

Dude, that is NOT my name

On more than one occasion, people have called me "Kim." This is after I have told them my name. Which is nowhere near Kim. One of them was a college professor in an acting class which only had about 12 people.

In my elementary school English class, we used text books such as Dick and Jane. In one of them, there was a picture of an Asian girl and her name was Kim. Jet black hair with a very harsh bob, slanty eyes, the whole deal. Sometimes, it was an Asian boy and HIS name was Kim. I used to think "is that what we look like?" Perhaps this is where it's coming from. I have known some Kims in my life, and they all have been white--or Asians with the LAST NAME of Kim. I am not saying that there are no Asian women with the first name of Kim, but when people have called me Kim, I couldn't help but to feel "Oriental." I felt like what they were seeing was that picture from that book. Grumble, grumble, grumble.

On a different note, my legal first name is Mina. I don't go by this name (my parents gave me a nick name that I go by), but when a telemarketer call, they ask for Mina. Except they can't pronounce it right. They say, "Myna." OK. How do you pronounce T-i-n-a, or better yet G-i-n-a? Seriously people. Stop panicking. Just say it like it's spelled.

Epilogue: my husband is white. Very white. And on more than one occasion, people have called him "Patrick." That is not his name. And these were white people saying it. I guess he just looks like a Patrick, whatever that means. Racial assumptions are color blind. Awwww.

English in Japan

People often ask if I spoke any English when I came here. I spoke some. But very little American idioms or slang. People in Japan begin studying English at 7th grade. If you go to a private school like I did, you start at 1st grade. My mother teaches English. My father used to conduct business in English so they are both fluent. My mother in particular was really interested in us learning to speak English so my parents have arranged to have American college students living with us as we were growing up. So I suspect that my ears were more trained than the average Japanese kid. But as far as learning the language--I really didn't have the command.

English in Japan is taught very academically. There are actually very little conversation in classes. Just lectures on how to apply the grammar and construct sentences. I once got an incorrect on a quiz because I answered, "this is a pen" to a question "what is this?" The correct answer in this case was "it is a pen" because that is what the text book said. My mom, who believes in teaching through conversations, actually went and said something to the teacher on this one.

Because of this method, people in Japan can't really speak English, but can comprehend it if it's written. And Japanese people really like things written in English because it looks cool. I am certain that many of you are now familiar with Engrish.com. I think this site started as just posting things from Japan, but now it has branched out to things from other countries. One of my husband's hobbies when we go to Japan is to grab things or take photos of funny signs in English. Here are some of our favorites:

A clothing store--clearly.

Store that sells fun socks

I don't even remember what this was

Not what you think

And finally....

To which I uttered, "YOU store my ducks."

But then this is a flip side I get to enjoy. The random Japanese words people in this country wear on their shirts and, in many cases, skin. I knew a guy who had a Japanese character on his arm. The character looked like this:　実, which means "meat of a fruit." I asked why he had that on his arm, or more importantly, what he thought he meant, he looked horrified and said, "truth..?" Now the word "truth" looks like this:真実. You see, his tatoo artist omitted a character. I would seriously like to be a proof reader for tattoo parlors. And I found this delightful site.

Roughly translated, here is the order of what the shirts say--and it gets progressively worse:
1. I am Japanese
2. Pay up, you jerk
3. Big Dick (yes, that is what it says)
4. Hemorrhoid
5. I am a freak
6. Low self-esteem

Then shirts are repeated.

I suppose it's just universal.